|Pascal||The girl I fooled around with in high school that wouldn't let me get past second base.|
|C++||The girl I dated in college. We had some good times and we still see each other from time to time, but we've both moved on.|
|Perl||That crazy chick I hooked up with a couple times. I tried to avoid her, but she left some of her stuff at my place.|
|Python||My first love. It didn't last and I'm with somebody new now, but I'll always have fond feelings for her.|
|Sharepoint||I know, not a programming language per se, but this is my blog post so it's going in here. Sharepoint is the annoying girl that I never wanted to go out with but I also never had the heart to tell her that it's never going to happen.|
|Ruby/Rails||The love of my life. We're going to raise kids together and be happy forever.|
|VB Script||The dude that sits in the cubicle across from me farting and picking his nose all day. I'm that turned off by VB Script|
So there you have it. As I think of other languages I might go back and fill this in. Of all these Perl is the only one I hope I never see again. That bitch will stab you.